The Incredible Exploding Woman


Today I got my first “You look like you’re about to explode” comment. I also got a “Wow. You’re almost too big for your shirt.” Apparently I’ve grown to the size of a house.

So I’ve been brainstorming responses to the “explode” comment:

  • “Yeah. I just had a huge lunch.”
  • “Oh my god! You do, too!”
  • “I think it might be glandular. I’m not sure.”
  • “I know, and I’m only four months pregnant!”
  • “Wouldn’t that be gross if I did?”
  • “Someone else said that to me today, too. Weird.”
  • “What do you mean?”
  • “I’m having sextuplets. Can you believe it? No fertility drugs or anything.”
  • “Funny, I don’t feel big at all.”
  • “Oh believe me, you’d be even bigger. I can tell.” (works best on a woman)
  • “Oh, you say that to all the girls.” (works best on a man)
  • “I know. I’ve almost hit my goal weight. A few more cheeseburgers and shakes and I’ll get there.”

Any more ideas to share? Please add your own comments below.


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