To My Friends

18Jul07

I am jealous that you have other friends.

I am jealous that you spend time with them, jealous when you talk about them in front of me, and jealous that you’ve got more friends than I have.

I want you to like me the best and to call me the most often, even though I fully acknowledge that I seldom call you.

I am shy and you and I are friends only because you are not shy. I appreciate that you’re willing to coax me along in this little experiment called friendship, but I am also disappointed to realize that I am probably not your only shy friend. You have other pet projects, and this saddens me.

I hesitate to call you sometimes because I am afraid that you will already have plans with your other friends and I will become even more jealous. Unconfirmed jealousy is better than confirmed. In this way I am most like my mother. I hadn’t realized this before.

I want you and me to have more inside jokes than you have with your other friends. I want us to have more stories. I want us to have weekly dates that we never break. I also want you to call me spontaneously to hang out. I wish I could say that I would call you spontaneously, but I probably won’t, and it is this for which I am the most sorry.

I want to be a better friend to you.

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2 Responses to “To My Friends”

  1. 1 Christina

    From one socially awkward person to a shy person, I can say I understand. I doubt you’re a pet project to your friends, though.

    I recently wrote about how much I miss my childless friends. It seems like once you have kids, a divide erupts between you and it’s hard to cross. Too bad most of my friends in town are childless.

    If you’re in the market for new mommy friends, let me know. I have passes to COSI and the zoo, and we go as often as we can. (If you don’t mind a quirky toddler joining us, too.) Your son is pretty close in age to my second daughter.

  2. 2 Julie

    I am in the market for new mommy friends. That’s cool that you’re also in Columbus. The zoo or COSI both found great. Or I’m always up for a walk at a metropark or something.


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