What I Want For Christmas

16Nov07

Lady from Red Envelope email

Even though this image would usually annoy the snot out of me with its pose-y-ness and its big fake smiles and its “don’t your children gather around you, sitting as close to you as they possibly can and even sitting at your feet and yeah, that one isn’t allowed in front of me because she is the one who takes after me most and so we don’t really get along but all in that very ‘we still smile all the time and pretend we’re all very happy and she looks over my shoulder to see because she just can’t be left out of the fun even when I tell her she’s been a bad girl'” and oh, god, I think I just broke something in my brain going on that tangent within a tangent within a tangential post.

Yes, I’m skilled at using quotations within other quotations. It’s an art I’ve developed after four years of studying postmodern literature of all ilks.

But um. Anyway? Where was I?

Yes. I was saying that even though the picture above would usually annoy the snot out of me, for some strange, deep-seated, probably profound reason, I find myself wanting to be this lady — either version of her. I’d settle for being the lady in the story we’re supposed to imagine, with her smiling, happy children and her lovely Christmas gift from Red Envelope, or just the lady in real life who models for internet and print catalogs.

I think it’s her hair. I think I want her hair.

***

P.S. To those of you actually getting me things for Christmas, I’ll settle for gifts since you probably can’t turn me into this lady. Yes. Gifts will have to do. I’ll probably need a few extras to get over the disappointment of not being this lady.

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2 Responses to “What I Want For Christmas”

  1. Oh I see your sentiment (and share your love of quotes within quotes and Red Envelope envy).

    It annoys the crap out of me though…because the mother is smiling fondly at her son, prominent in the front, clearly the center and focus of the family out of apparently three offspring. Meanwhile, the girls, set behind and below, play along with a family dynamic that probably makes them ache or seethe inside at times, especially holidays.

    I could just be projecting, though. ;)

    As the mom of girls from a family of girls and boy.

    It is an appealing picture, when I set my own Issues aside. ;)

    Also it makes me LOL because the boys I know? Leave the gift buying to the wives and sisters, so it makes me LOL again knowing brother probably feels a little uncomfortable trying to figure out how to explain all he did was send his share of cash to his sister, behind him, LHerAO.

    WOW am I on a reel or what LOL at me.

    Also, I would not turn down money or products from Red Envelope, for model posing or prosy prosing.

    Julie
    Using My Words

  2. 2 hubby

    My guess is actually that it’s he who’s getting the gift. And it’s mom and sis-down-front that are feeling uncomfortable. And I think it’s likely a gift from them to make up for all of the over-mothering and dressing-up in girls clothes that older sisters attempt to make younger brothers do. But sister in back is looking across the room at either husband or father making fun of the whole situation. You’re right: LherAO.

    The gift itself?

    Based on the apparel choices of mom and sis-down-front? I’d guess an accessory of some sort. A pin for the sweater vest?

    Or maybe personalized stationery?

    But baby bro ain’t havin it. Check out the look on his face again. It’s somewhere between “Jumpin-Jesus on a pogo-stick, can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?!?” and “Well, it’s a nice gift, but WTF?!?” with maybe a little “Dad, I’m gonna kick your ass after dinner for laughin’ at this.”


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