Head Case


Curtains at Mood

I’m having headaches lately. My husband wants me to go to the doctor but all I can think is,

Gee, I’m sure I don’t have any reasons to have headaches:

I’m a new mom, carrying around a giant baby who grows longer and heavier every single day;

I am working on my dissertation three days a week while someone else watches said baby even though I’d really rather not be working on the dissertation and would rather my baby be home with me;

while I work on said dissertation, I spend hours at a stretch sitting at the computer typing or in bed (where it’s warm) watching episode after episode after episode of Sex and the City, which can’t be good for the back;

I stopped wearing the thing in my mouth that keeps me from grinding my teeth when I was preggers because it made me so nauseated at night I thought I might throw up (and now my teeth have shifted and it doesn’t fit anymore);

I keep thinking I need to finish this dissertation as quickly as is humanly possible so that I can get Evan back out of daycare;

I am not getting enough sleep because I can’t seem to go to bed before 10:30 at the earliest even though Evan is up by 6:30 (earlier, lately) and that may sound like enough to you but it’s not for me;

my husband is working a lot lately and when he’s not working he’s supposed to be studying for the New York State Bar Exam (the fact that sometimes he’s not is probably also causing me stress – what is the best way to be supportive? how can I help? etc.);

the weather has been cold so I haven’t been able to get outside and take my much-needed walks;

I am feeling frustrated financially (I want new shoes, new drapes, new pillows, lots of fabric to play with during Evan’s naps) and feel guilty about spending any money because if we do manage to take in more than we spend this year it will be the first year ever doing anything but pretty much exactly breaking even and we really should be saving at this point in our lives even if we have law school loans totaling twice our mortgage (and especially because of that).

Should I keep going?

The frustrating thing is that I don’t actually feel stressed out. But, I’m one of those people who has this great disposition most of the time and really genuinely feels happy most of the time because my brain somehow jettisons all stress and unhappiness right straight out of my conscious awareness and only expresses it in things like tension headaches, back pain, teeth grinding, or difficulty breathing.

Of course, I do also have a very ancient history of chronic headaches – I had to have sinus surgery when I was 9 – and I am also one of those people who doesn’t typically go to the doctor except for preventive maintenance (my annual, my physicals) and for things that the doctor can solve right then and there (i.e. I know he can write me a prescription). So I can see why Brian might be pushing me on this one. My gut just says it’s my life backing up on me, though. You know how sometimes you just know?


Pictured above: some lovely drapes that have absolutely no business in our home, but which I love anyway. They’re from the inspiration section of the Mood Fabrics website (think Project Runway), which explains why there are numbers superimposed on the fabrics. (I hate pictureless posts.)

5 Responses to “Head Case”

  1. True…could be for a good reason. headaches are hard. If you’ve got nothing else, maybe you are right. You could start with a call, though, right?

    #2, I swear we had that wallpaper in green (avocado) growing up.

  2. I get headaches like that when I’m stressed out.

    You might go to the doctor just to make sure everything is OK. But like you, I hate going to the doctor unless it is an annual check-up or something immediate. I hate waiting rooms, mostly.

    I love the lavender pattern drapes. Cordy’s room is painted that same color.

  3. 3 Anne

    I hope the headaches go away. In the meantime, the easiest thing you can do without going to the doctor is to make yourself a new mouthgard for night. Maybe that would do the trick, or at least might do away with one cause of headaches!

  4. My cousin’s advice is even easier: a glass of wine each night. Sounds do-able. : )

  5. I found your blog post via Google blog search while searching for Teeth Grinding and your post regarding “Head Case” looks very interesting to me and it is also very creative. I have a teeth website of my own and I must say that your blog is really good. Keep up the great work on a really high class resource.

    In order to better cope with teeth grinding you may try some relaxation techniques and see how you sleep afterwards; yoga and breathing exercises could be of real help. Don’t rush to administrate any drugs since teeth grinding could be dealt with otherwise too, and in far more natural ways. Have a look on the Internet, or talk to a therapist about the best ways to induce a relaxation state. Most people who have listened to soothing music, used aromatherapy or taken a long relaxing bath before going to bed, have shown significant improvement in the bruxism condition.

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