Here’s What I Want For My Birthday, Folks


So, despite the fact that it got a lot better tonight, much of my birthday was kind of sucky.  I woke up sick, and so did Evan, and there was much whining, shrieking, snuggling, and snot throughout the day.  Plus, Evan dove headfirst into the floor from my lap and I only caught him enough to keep him from, like, dying but not enough to keep him from bumping his head pretty hard, the result of which was both of us crying.

He’s fine, now, except for still being a cranky, sick boy who woke up at 4am and didn’t go back to sleep even though we left him until sometime after 6 while we tried to sleep through his protests and occasional chattering.

Today was suckier than all that, even, but I don’t feel like writing about it.  And I’m too tired and too sick and, to be contrary, too hopped up on buttercream to write about the good stuff.  I’ll be back with that tomorrow.

But here is what I want from you, my loyal lovely readers, for my birthday:

I want you to leave a comment with hilarious ways my birthday could have sucked more than it did.  I want funny ways, people, not serious ones.  No “your parents could have been killed in separate fatal car crashes” or anything sick like that.  The purpose here is to cheer me up, not to make me feel worse.

Go at it.  And even if you don’t think you’re funny, I do, so leave me a comment.  It’s a birthday girl’s wish.


14 Responses to “Here’s What I Want For My Birthday, Folks”

  1. Your hair could have caught on fire (just a little) when you went to blow out the candles. It happened to a friend once. I laughed. A lot.
    Happy Birthday! Poor thing.

  2. 2 JO

    You could have woken up to discover that all the buttons on your clothes were sewn on backwards so that you had to try to button them from the inside while you were wearing the garments. I think that would really suck.

  3. Instead of water, chocolate frosting would have come out of your faucets and you really really really wanted to take a shower!

  4. You could have had a big birthday party and sent out invites to several people, but only had a ninja show up to the party. True story.

  5. These are great so far. THANKS! Just what I needed. But Christina, really? A ninja? Like, a NINJA ninja?

  6. 6 Mom

    So much for you, I need to know how Evan did with all of your whining, shrieking, snuggling, and snot throughout the day?! I remember those days, but I thought that you had outgrown them by now :-) teehee! (sorry this isn’t a “hilarious way that your birthday could have sucked more” post.)

  7. 7 Toni

    You could have had your completely useless cat bring a mouse INTO your house. A live mouse. And then the aforementioned useless cat could lose the aforementioned live mouse behind your washer. Which may or may not have been payback for the time you locked said cat in said washer.

    Happy Birthday!

  8. 8 Aubrey

    In addition to being sick with the cold you could’ve had irritating bodily impairments as well. like paper cuts, twitching eyes, canker sores, and my personal favorite- the scab in the nose. you know what i’m talking about, the scab that you think is a bugger, so you pull it and it ends up ripping a thin layer of skin off inside your nose. burns. raw open spot in your nose that doesn’t go away for a week. happy birthday cancer sore sort of spot :)

  9. Ooh, these are getting good. : ) Aub, I totally feel you on the nose scab thing and in fact have one of those RIGHT NOW. But you forgot HICCUPS, which I didn’t have but which poor Evan was plagued with for the better part of an hour!

    Oh, and mom, Evan weathered my whining and complaining just fine. He’s such a trooper.

  10. 10 Mere

    On top of being sick and having bodily impairments, you could have not slept for 3 nights running because you can’t get the song “I’m Fuzzy and Blue” out of your head.

  11. You know that dream where you’re standing naked in front of the classroom? Well, you could have woken up on the morning of your birthday and discovered it wasn’t a dream at all. And then you could have been forced to knit on your birthday. All. Day. Long. All the while surrounded by people sewing fabulous things. That could have then been followed up with a dinner, lovingly prepared by Brian, of cat food and rainwater. Followed by an evening of watching Hawaii 5-0 reruns. See? Your birthday could have been much worse. ;)

  12. I went to a concert once, and it had been raining and raining and raining for DAYS beforehand… the guy, the concert guy whose name I’ve now forgotten, the performer, said, “yes, it’s raining. It’s going to keep raining. But ya know what? At least it’s not raining snot.” So – there’s something that would be wor…. oh, wait. Did you say you *and* Evan have been sick and runny-nosed? Well, darn. I guess it *is* raining snot. Ummmm…..

    You could have been chased by raptors. That would be worse!

    (Happy, happy birthday! I’d say ‘belated’, but I believe in a birthday *season*, where your birthday lasts as long as people are still wishing you happy birthday and sending cards and/or gifts)

  13. You could have been four days past your due date with your second child. In the middle of an August heat wave. For your thirtieth birthday.

  14. 14 Ben's Mama

    You could have woken up on your birthday with booger bubbles coming out of your nose like my boy. Seriously-it looks as tho someone put Dawn dishsoap up my kids nostrils and the result -bubbles of snot – unless he sneezes. then there is a gooey snail trail of ooze – The kiddos must have contracted something from somewhere – SO SORRY it was coincidental that your boy got sick after Ben and Chloe’s party. Altho – Ev did get to flirt with an older woman over lunch.

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