Things Daddy Does

30Mar08

Sleeping Dogs

My two men are upstairs right now, both sound asleep — Evan on Brian’s chest in front of a soccer game on TV. It’s something I haven’t seen since Evan was probably four weeks old. Apparently taking care of mommy for a week is exhausting. Since I’m still coughing I came downstairs to try to avoid waking them but all I really want to do is watch them.

When you’ve been sick for a week, even just typing that sentence is, apparently, enough to make you get all weepy. Wow. Get a grip.

So, yeah, still sick around here. It seems, though, that I’m at least turning a corner. I honestly don’t feel much better but I am sounding better over the phone now and am determined to eat even though I have zero appetite, which is a step in the right direction.

Watching Evan with his daddy this weekend got me thinking about how different it is to be the primary versus the secondary caregiver — or, rather, the person Evan is with most of the time versus the person he is with less often (since I hate to call Brian “secondary”). It’s like there’s this spectrum that goes from primary to secondary to grandparent: the person who establishes the daily routine, the person who changes the daily routine, and the person who pretends there never ever has been any such thing as a daily routine; the person who indulges only occasionally, the person who indulges more often but with twinges of guilt, and the person who indulges unabashedly.

I guess what I mean is this:

TV Lunch

I’ve certainly never moved Evan’s high chair in front of the TV so that we could have lunch while watching a soccer game. Or anything else, for that matter. It’s not that I couldn’t do it occasionally. Or that I wouldn’t. It’s just not my daily role. I am the norm to Brian’s exceptions.

But that’s why I’m glad Evans have daddies.

And there I go getting all choked up again. Must be the robitussin.

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5 Responses to “Things Daddy Does”

  1. 1 Toni

    Several months ago I attended the very long birth of a dear friend. For three days both children remained solely in Daddy’s care. I use the word “care” cautiously here because he allowed them to do things that not only would I not have allowed but that I never would have thought of. And yet, despite our different parenting methods it was amazing to me how after such a short time he was completely tuned in to their needs and I wasn’t. I started to be jealous but in the end decided that his parenting competence comforted me. Because I know that if I ever got incredibly sick for many, many days – I they’d all be okay. Looks like your hubby’s got a bit of that parenting competence too. :)

    Feel better soon.

  2. It’s not the Robitussin. *sniff*

  3. That first picture is enough to make anyone a little moist around the eyes.

    I’m a little nervous leaving Aaron with the girls for three days later this week. I know he’ll do everything differently from me. I actually don’t worry about him changing up the routine. I worry more about the girls driving him completely insane, so that I’ll never be able to leave the house again. :)

  4. My husband DOES parent completely differently than me – but the kids thrive when they’re with him.
    Get better! Being sick is AWFUL!

  5. 5 mom

    i’d love a copy of this picture, please :-)


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