Seven Strange Search Terms


While I was dying, I got tagged (by happythings, a lovely little blog) for the “seven random things about me” meme. Since I know I have a lot of non-bloggy readers, that basically means that someone picked me to blog about seven things about myself. Like an email forward, I’m supposed to blog about said seven things and then pick seven people to tag with the meme.

But since I can’t think of seven things that might interest/shock/surprise you that I am actually willing to share or haven’t shared already, I thought I’d go through the old blog-stat archives and find my top seven favorite search terms (the terms people entered into Google or Yahoo or whatever before getting to my blog).

They are, in no particular order and with links to the posts they yielded:

“bar pickup for wife” — Led this poor lonely googler to this post about watching my husband study for the bar exam. Probably not much help.

“pee coats” — I’ve had this one turn up on multiple occasions, always ending up at this post, where I wrote about how it looked like someone had peed on the sleeve of my white winter coat and contemplated buying a pea coat to replace it (linking to several possibilities). I just love it that people who misspell “pee coat” still end up at a relevant post.

“wife kills husband for calling her fat” — This web search turned up my silly little post on snoring husbands. But while I probably ought to feel bad for the woman (or the man) who searched for this phrase, I just find it hilarious for some reason. The things people Google these days!

(SIDE NOTE: I have a friend who is expecting her second child two weeks before the end of her husband’s semester (he’s a prof) who recently admitted that she finds herself typing “how to delay labor” into her search bar.  I think that’s so funny.)

“beach ball 2007” — I don’t really know what this person was trying to find — maybe a sorority event or something??? — but I’m pretty sure it led him or her to this post on being huge right before having Evan. I hope my unwitting searcher at least enjoyed the post.

“where is the jowl of a dog” — I get jowl-related searches all the time (thinks like “jowl firming” and “why do jowls happen”) because of this post.

“ugly snoring husbands” — I’ve written about ugly dolls (this post also yields search terms like “ugly knitting” which, frankly, I resent) and about snoring husbands (see above for link) but this search term, which combines keywords from the two posts, might be my favorite search term ever. HA!

“pregnant lady how to bone a baby” — I got this one today. I don’t know what to say. What does this even mean? What post did it lead to? I have no idea. Whatever it means, I think it’s probably pretty disturbing. Makes my blog shudder just being selected by search engines for such a lurid phrase.

What strange things have you searched for?

(Oh, and also, I’m not going to tag seven people.  I’m a crazy, crazy rebel.)


6 Responses to “Seven Strange Search Terms”

  1. Oh, that last one is very, very disturbing. Bleh. I’m going to pretend like it didn’t say that. (fingers in ears) la-la-la-la – I can’t heeeeeear you.

    I know I’ve searched for weird stuff before – I was nervous when I took my laptop in to the office for them to add something on, thinking they would find something… untoward. But it’s usually when I’m trying to remember a movie, or song, so I’ll put in as much as I remember, like “naked women in football helmets” or something. (Which was a scene in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life. I think. Dang, now I need to google it again.)

  2. That last one skeeves me out.

    The #1 term searched on my blog is … medium hairstyles from a stupid post I wrote in the summer wondering aloud how I should cut my long hair. The people landing at my blog must be universally disappointed.

  3. I’m always fascinated by what folks type in to find my blog too :)

  4. Ew, that last one is PRETTY horrid. I get searches for the Frog and Toad books – I’m sorry, estate of Arnold Lobel! – and people looking for frog cupcakes.

  5. 5 Toni

    Now I mostly get very tame “simple living” and “birth” searches but for a while “poohuahua” and “cold chickens” were the favorites. … odd.

  6. 6 hub

    OK, I know at least one more of you did this, too, but I don’t expect you to own up to it.

    So, I Googled “pregnant lady how to bone a baby,” with no spectacular results. The most fascinating thing about the search results was that I got to page 15 and still hadn’t found the letter9 post that the original searcher linked to, but now this post makes page 2 of the results!

    You should be proud, honey. Now when people search for “pregnant lady how to bone a baby” you’re in a position of prominence. And if I keep repeating the phrase “pregnant lady how to bone a baby” in this comment, maybe I can get you on page 1. Maybe even above the fold!! Congrats, baby!

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